Diving Head First into A Brick Wall

I prepared my bags with great care. Double checked, triple checked. Everything must be there. I made sure I had everything I would need and still had a few emergency supplies with me incase something were to go wrong. I made sure that I was awake and ready to go that Friday with plenty of time to spare to catch my 4:59 pm flight out of Asheville. That flight should have served as a sign of things to come. At 5:30 pm my plane began boarding that October evening. Since then it seems that nothing has been as it was supposed to on this little adventure of mine. This was billed to be a place where someone could clean out their body of things like cigarettes and alcohol, however selling them a $3 a pack (cheaper than anywhere in the US) and $3-$5 for a sixpack (I don't drink this beer cause it's crap, but I'm making a point) doesn't help anyone who maybe looking to avoid whatever vices they may have. Or is sugar your standard drug of choice, and make no mistake it's addictive and wrecks your body too, so in this meaning it's a drug. Well, come with the slightly below US priced soda and candy and you'll be overjoyed. However, I for one find it pointless for the most part, because, for one the most delicious beverage on base is the "grape juice" which is more like a grape drink because it's mostly not juice, and two other than the raspberry flavored licorice twists by wonka, the candy is all gross cause it's several months, or in some cases years out of date. And still the sheeple smoke (guilty, but down to 2 a day), drink, and ingest large amounts of sugar directly into their fat faces.

Also, this new strange frozen world brought promises of being away from people. As the people who know me best will attest, that I relish my time alone. It's very cathardic and I get time to think. However the simple fact of the matter is that I am in a place with only 1000 people here. Even as I write this I'm being surrounded by people. It's not that I have anything against these people per say, but I need my time to my space. Honestly I don't really care about how their day is or what happened to them in their work center today. I would much rather be able to turn up my jams and read, or watch a movie, or just sit and think. But it seems in order to do that I am required to take a hike, and my knees are not always up for that.

Then there is my job. In a word, shit! Is the pay right... that depends on how you look at it. As a DA I make $392 a week. Based on a 40 week I make $9 something an hour, not so bad, but then take into account that I make that and work 56 hours a week. I have to pay into my health coverage... and as much as I need it, is it worth it. Also, my job is like working in a kitchen ran by half crazy kindergarten teachers. That, maybe a compliment. So at this point, the sum of all things here is that not only is it not all it's cracked up to be, but the only other perk aside from seeing Antarctica is that I have no desire to spend money on most things that are for sell here.

Some soul searching is in order.